Anxiety · Depression · mental health · Sewing · Stitching

Being weird/abnormal

To start off 2018’s creative year I’ve been writing some projects in my new craft planner. I’ve been after a craft planner for ages and I got one for Christmas – one happy person 🙂

Although I do have to admit when I was filling it in I did start feeling very anxious about all the projects already in there – 6 so far (could well be enough for the year!) but only 2 have dates for completion. All I have done is taken the projects out of my head and put them on paper. I felt exactly the same when I started my weekly planner. So I’m staying with the feeling in the hope the more I use this craft planner the less anxiety it will cause me!

There hasn’t been any machine stitching over the Christmas break. I’ve done a bit more hand stitching on my tree for the refugee project. Forgetting about all the projects in the craft planner, my first 2018 goal is to finish my 1920’s lady as it’s been hanging around, unfinished, for a while.

It’s been a good Christmas and although New Year isn’t my favourite time we had family round and it was a good evening being together. On the 1st I woke up feeling emotionally fragile, as if I could burst into tears at any moment. Not surprising really since my routine of healthy food, meditation, enough sleep, stitching and yoga has gone totally out of the window; also far too much sugar which makes anxiety worse! So it was phone off for the day, routine back and lots of TLC. Starting to feel better which makes it a lot easier to do the things that make me feel better.

I’ve always felt having depression/anxiety made me weird and abnormal compared to everyone else; it made me feel inferior.   Over Christmas I read of my daughter’s books ‘Silence is Goldfish’ by Annabel Pitcher.   There was a part in the book, where some of the characters are discussing why people watch programmes like ‘Embarrassing Bodies’, which gave me some perspective on being weird and challenge this thinking.

One of the characters feels its because the weirdness in these programmes is familiar to people and there is no weird at all. It gives us the opportunity to realise (and it’s reassuring) to see other people are abnormal, flawed, messed up. If we are all weird, no one’s weird. …..’In an imperfect world, the only truly odd thing would be perfection.’ Because we are scared of being judged we airbrush our lives/hide our lives so they look like everyone else’s. However everyone is airbrushing their lives to look like ours.

I am scared of being judged so I have ‘airbrushed’ my life/kept quiet about my depression and anxiety. By talking/writing about my mental health I have started to tell the truth and show my true self and in the process I’ve found out lots of people suffer too. I am not weird or abnormal. I am normal.

Each of us is an unique, individual person and maybe we should start celebrating this more and stop judging people for their differences.

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